Opening Up

Nov 08, 2019

When I was younger I really thought I had a shortcut to God, wisdom, the Universe, whatever you want to call it.  Always on the path to learn about myself and the world, as I learned, I thought I knew more.  As I gained insights, I slightly elevated myself above others, thinking my thoughts were more unique and creative.  I observed, worked hard, saw the big picture and made some wise connections, which made me seem brilliant to a few. 

As life would have it, I fell from grace… grief stricken, shell-shocked and weak.  Never in my wildest imagination could I figure out how this experience would serve me, as I KNEW every other life experience had.  How could immense, multiple losses benefit anyone?  Slowly, I made my way through the pain, one small step at a time.  Reading wisdoms from others in similar mindsets. Processing my lethargy through listlessly telling my story until I broke through my thick armor and got to the core of the...

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Rocky Lover Forever!

Nov 08, 2019

 

My favorite movie of all time is Rocky.  Yeah, yeah, I have heard all the hater’s comments regarding this and I HAVE NOT BEEN MOVED FROM MY OPINION!!! Because you know what- I can relate.  All I need to hear is that Rocky theme music and I am fired up and ready to take on anything.

Of course, this may have a little something to do with the fact that my father was Italian, born in Pennsylvania and like the Rocky character my dad was an academic underdog.  He didn’t really learn to read until college and like the Rocky character, my mom taught him by reading Louis L’Amour Westerns.  My dad was not supposed to graduate from high school, let alone receive two master’s degrees in education and business.

 Dad was a highly successful football coach with three daughters and a much younger son.  So, growing up in a home where we weren’t allowed to say, “I can’t”, or “I quit” pretty much shaped...

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A Change In Perspective

Nov 08, 2019

Life changes fast!  One minute I think that all is going well – my adult children are happy doing the amazing things they do; my friends and family seem to be moving in the direction they planned and everything is smooth.  In a short moment, everything can change!

A few months ago, I was jolted with the news that three people close to me, were diagnosed with cancer.  Although, as I age and become even more aware, I’m always surprised that when I’m faced with “loss”, I have a more “thankful” perspective on living and dying, and the people I love.  Every moment that I continue to live…that I’m deeply connected with another human being…that I’m fully present…is a precious moment.  My attitude towards the impending holidays was different and took on new insight.  How I received long-term, out-of-state family as guests in my home, here to support our loved one, was warm and...

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Grit, Grace and Gratitude

Nov 08, 2019

I am sure in your lifetime people have asked you to find one word to describe yourself.  I find that this is truly a difficult task. Really? One word? Nearly impossible I think.  I could come up with the obvious; funny, lighthearted, kind, bold, caring.  Each of these words are descriptive, but not all inclusive.  So, the struggle persists. 

In my life at this moment I feel the word which resonates with me is grit.  Now when you think of grit you are not instantly envisioning beauty, refinement, softness or caring.  Grit recalls toughness, unpolished, a roughness around the edges and the sense of things being rubbed against another - hard.  Grit, grit grit…. yes, that is a fit

Grit has a variety of words to clarify it. Some of my favorites are courage, resolve, spirit, nerve, tenacity and pluck.  Yes, there seem to be no warm and fluffies here!

In January of 2016, I chose to become an amputee. This was after several years of trying...

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Waking Up...Again

Nov 08, 2019

We are all doing the best we can. No, really, WE ARE ALL DOING THE BEST WE CAN.

         - Brene Brown  from Rising Greatly

                        – The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.

 No big surprise, as author Brene Brown orally read her book, Rising Greatly – The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution.  I’ve heard the phrase one hundred times before in my quest to understand myself and become a more improved version.  Contemplating it repeatedly, I finally became a true believer.  Yet this morning, as I treaded my final mile and half, I felt sick to my stomach and the tears ran down my face, as I listened to Brene recite her story.

My telling reaction surprised me as I struggled to focus on the words I was hearing, rather than go to my own story.  Knowing that I needed to attend to my emotions but wanting to hear the outcome of hers, I...

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Hell Is For Children by Diana

Nov 07, 2019

They cry in the dark, so you can't see their tears
They hide in the light, so you can't see their fears
Forgive and forget, all the while
Love and pain become one and the same
In the eyes of a wounded child        

From “Hell is for Children”, Pat Benator

 

As a child I did not want anyone to find out that I was being abused, I was ashamed of what was happening, and my victimizer did an excellent job of shifting responsibility of this reprehensible act from him to me.  I felt responsible.  I was guilty.  I didn’t want anyone to know had happened to me, so I protected my offender by doing as I was told, being silent and acting normal.

As an adult thinking back, my heart is broken for that little girl I used to be.  I understand that she was taught to be respectful of adults, to do what she was told and to keep the peace in the family.  I know that she had once told on her biological father for...

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