The Art of Starting Over (Without Burning It All Down)

It’s been years since I jumped off the New Year’s resolution train. Why? Because it never worked for me.

I found that resolutions are just fancy to-do lists we make while high on holiday cookies and champagne. You wake up on January 1st, convinced this is your year. By February, you’re staring at that unopened gym membership email, eating chips on the couch, and wondering why you ever thought you’d suddenly become the kind of person who actually loves kale.

That was me, year after year. Dream big, crash hard. It felt like I was living in my own personal version of "Groundhog Day," the same bad movie on repeat, hoping for a different ending. Frustrating doesn’t even begin to cover it.

What finally broke the cycle? It wasn’t some new bullet journal or productivity hack. It was learning about the Enneagram—a tool that showed me who I was, why I did the things I did, and, more importantly, how to stop beating myself up about it.

Seeing Myself (and Getting Over Myself)

My life-altering shift was discovering the type I lead from (you’ll hear Enneagram people say that—it’s just fancy talk for your core type). For me, this wasn’t about slapping a label on myself or being shoved into some personality box. It was about finally seeing myself clearly—without the harsh, overly critical lens I’d been using my whole life.

This was a massive awakening for me! I learned that perfectionism often runs the show for me. Oh, and not the cute kind of perfectionism where your desk is Pinterest-worthy. Nope, this was the exhausting kind. The kind that whispered, “If it’s not perfect, you’re a failure,” and kept me stuck, overthinking, and second-guessing everything I did.

Confessions of a Former Over-Doer

Let me paint you a picture:
I’d rewrite grants up until the last possible second,11:58pm of the due date, because they weren’t “good enough” (turns out: they were). I scrubbed floors like my life depended on it. I color-coded closets, socks, and even my filing system. Why? Because deep down, I believed if everything was perfect, then maybe—just maybe—I would be, too.

Here’s the problem: Perfectionism is a thief. It steals your time, your energy, and your ability to just exist without feeling like you’re falling short. It took me years to see that perfection wasn’t helping me—it was suffocating me.

And I’ll tell you something else—it’s sneaky. Even when I started learning about myself, I kept thinking, “Okay, now I just need to be perfect at NOT being perfect.” Yep. That’s how deep it goes.

Learning to Love Imperfection (and Myself)

The beauty of the Enneagram is that it didn’t just show me my patterns—it showed me the why behind them. My perfectionism wasn’t random. It came from real experiences, beliefs, and fears that shaped how I saw myself and the world. And while some of those patterns once served me (they got me through a lot), they didn’t serve me anymore.

Once I understood that, something magical happened: I stopped judging myself so harshly. I started choosing what I wanted to give my energy to—and what I could let go of.

Guess what? The world didn’t end when I let things be “good enough.” My floors are still clean (but not that clean). My socks are mismatched sometimes, and I’ve survived. Now, I spend more time doing things I love with people I love. And instead of obsessing over what I should be, I’m learning to love who I actually am.

There’s something to be said for truly loving yourself—not the Instagram kind of self-love where you buy a candle and call it a day, but the kind where you forgive yourself for the mistakes, the quirks, and the baggage. That kind of love changes everything.

Now, when I think about starting over, I don’t feel the need to burn everything down or write some big list of resolutions. I just ask myself:

• What’s one thing I can do differently today?

• What’s one pattern I can notice without judgment?

• What’s one small step I can take toward loving who I already am?

That’s where the magic is. Not in chasing perfection, but in finally letting yourself breathe.

So here’s my invitation: Think about one thing that’s been holding you back. What if you didn’t have to fix it all at once? What if you just noticed it, gave yourself some grace, and took one small step forward?

You don’t need a new year to start over. You just need today.

Love is ALL there is

Diana

P.S. If this story resonates with you and you’re curious about a simple way to start noticing your patterns and making small, meaningful changes, I’d love to share something that’s worked for me. Click here to learn more about the Enneagram. https://www.skool.com/conversations/about