Finding Gratitude...Even When it's Hard

Thanksgiving Amid Division

Thanksgiving has always been about connection for me—the warmth of family, the comfort of traditions, and the quiet undercurrent of gratitude that makes it all meaningful. But this year, as the holiday draws closer, gratitude feels more like a challenge than a given. The political division still echoes in my head, stirring emotions I didn’t expect to feel so deeply.

For the first time in years, I let those feelings spill out. Not just to anyone, but to my daughter—the one person I’ve always tried to shield from the weight of my frustration. She was surprised, maybe even a little taken aback. In her home, surrounded by family members who see the world differently than I do, I’ve always chosen silence, knowing my words wouldn’t change anyone’s mind.

But this time, I didn’t stay silent.

The Conversation That Changed Everything

It wasn’t planned. One moment, we were chatting about my upcoming trip to spend a month with her and her family. The next, I was pouring out the tangled emotions that had been building. Frustration. Sadness. Fear. The deep ache of feeling unheard and misunderstood.

And suddenly, I expected the call to go sideways—defensiveness, awkward silence, or the familiar dance of sidestepping subjects that might ignite tension. Instead, my daughter did something I hadn’t anticipated: she listened. Not just politely, but deeply. She didn’t try to counter my points or defend her own views. Instead, she simply asked, “What can I do? What do you need?”

That question stopped me in my tracks. What did I need? I wasn’t even sure. All I knew was that I felt vulnerable, raw, and bracing for the unknown..

Then came another surprise: my son-in-law, a passionate, opinionated Type 8 who rarely wavers in his convictions, called me. He’d heard from my daughter about our conversation, and instead of pushing back or challenging me, he did something remarkable. He offered support.

“We’re glad you’re coming,” he said. “If it gets too much, let us know. We’ll figure something out. We want you to feel comfortable.”

Finding a Way Forward

Their thoughtfulness was a gift I didn’t know I needed. They even offered to talk to the rest of the family about keeping political discussions to a minimum during my visit. It was a kind and generous offer, but I knew deep down it wasn’t the solution. This wasn’t about asking others to tiptoe around me. This was about me learning to navigate the noise without letting it drown out what truly mattered.

We brainstormed some strategies together. My daughter and son-in-law suggested places I could retreat to when things felt overwhelming—a quiet walk, a cozy corner with a book, a moment of solitude to breathe and reset. But the most powerful thing they gave me wasn’t a solution; it was validation. Their willingness to acknowledge my feelings made all the difference.

Suddenly, the trip I was suddenly dreading felt less daunting. Instead of walking into a minefield of differing opinions, I saw an opportunity to prioritize what truly matters: our love for one another, our shared history, and the family we’re continuously learning to grow into.

Choosing Love Over Noise

Ever since this loving woman with a family of her own was born, our family has embraced a beautiful Thanksgiving tradition: before we enjoy the meal, we each take a moment to share something personal we feel grateful for. It’s a simple yet magical practice—a pause to honor the day, the delicious food, and, most importantly, the love we share as a family.

What makes this tradition so special is how it brings us closer, grounding us in the moment and reminding us of what truly matters. Each voice carries its own unique reflection, and together, they create a tapestry of connection, love, and gratitude that lingers long after the day is over.

This year, I know exactly what I’ll say:
“I’m grateful for our ability to grow together. To listen, even when we don’t agree. To prioritize love over everything else.”

Because that’s what this Thanksgiving—and every Thanksgiving—means to me. It’s about cherishing the warmth of family, embracing our shared experiences, and celebrating the magical bonds that bring us to the table.

Lessons From the Noise

This experience reminded me of a truth I’d almost forgotten: gratitude isn’t always easy. Sometimes, it’s the result of deliberate choices—the choice to listen instead of argue, to create space instead of taking it, to value connection over the need to be right.

If you’re facing a similar situation this Thanksgiving, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Validation is Powerful. Everyone wants to feel heard. Sometimes, the best gift you can give is simply listening without judgment or rebuttal.

2. Boundaries Are Healthy. If conversations feel overwhelming, it’s okay to step away for a moment. A walk, a deep breath, or even a change of subject can create space to reset.

3. Focus on What Unites You. Shared love, history, and family are stronger than any political or ideological divide. Remember what brought you to the table in the first place.

4. Be the Best Version of Yourself. The Enneagram has taught me so much about showing up with intention. Understanding my patterns—when I’m reactive, withdrawn, or defensive—helps me choose a more thoughtful response.

Gratitude Amid the Division

As I prepare for this trip, I’m no longer worried about the noise. I know there will be moments of tension, but I also know that we’ve grown as a family. We’ve learned to value each other above our differences, to create space for our individual experiences while holding tight to what connects us.

This Thanksgiving, as the world buzzes with opinions and debates, I’ll be sitting at a table filled with love. We won’t always agree, but we’ll always care. And that, I’ve realized, is more than enough.

For those navigating big feelings and tough dynamics this holiday season, my hope is that you find your way back to what truly matters: love, connection, and the quiet power of gratitude.

Love is all there is,

Diana