Like any seasoned mother, I've accumulated a variety of titles over the years - chef, chauffeur, therapist, nurse, life coach, ATM - the list is as extensive as a Costco receipt. But the label I cherish most, the one that warms my heart like a well-worn quilt, is 'Mom'. Mother's Day this year brought an unexpected surprise: a vacation to Hawaii with my adult son, Bill and daughter, Amy, a thoughtful gesture from them, for which my Birkenstock laden feet are still grateful, albeit a bit weary. We literally walked miles each day on our adventures to sandy beaches, waterfalls, temples and of course, a bit of Honolulu eating and shopping.

These family vacations, sprinkled throughout the annals of our lives like rare gems, hold a unique power to mend bridges, strengthen bonds and generate memories. And honestly, it’s been awhile, thanks to events of the last few years.

Thanks to the lens of introspection, we can appreciate this power even more. Our shared experiences - whether it's...

 Families are complicated.  It’s not so different with mine.  We are complicated.  We’ve been through a lot – some of it together and some of it apart.

If I were being completely honest, I would tell you that it’s not always been easy. 

While honoring my brother’s life this month and making my way through my grief, it’s important to me to look at our relationship as objectively as I can….because that’s what’s real and that’s what will heal my broken heart.

As children, we had a mother who loved us immensely and did what she knew to provide a safe, happy experience.  Mom kept an immaculately clean home, a healthy schedule, well-balanced meals and conveyed solid beliefs and values.  But Momma was only 15-years-old when she had me, and while she had been mothering her younger brothers for a few years before that, a 15-year-old has had limited experience at being an adult, much less a parent....

He was turning eight on February 8th, 1968, wondering why none of us had wished him a happy birthday. We were just following instructions, but bursting from our little bitty seams, because we knew…we knew there was a surprise coming.

After dinner was cleaned up, my brother Jimmy was moping about, dropping hints about what day it was. Momma took him by the shoulders, hugged him tight and said, “Happy birthday, son!” That was it. Unusual in our family because Momma made holidays and birthdays extra special. I thought I saw his heart drop to his stomach…but still he smiled with those big brown eyes and said, “Thank you, Momma”.

She sent us to wash our hands and tidy our bedrooms. Calling us 15 minutes later for homemade cake and ice cream…and yes, a couple of birthday presents!

Just then the doorbell rang and this time, Momma insisted on answering it herself. One after another, our family members and friends filed in singing “Happy...

Friends, it’s true what they say, “Life flies by”….

When I look at these few snapshots of my brother’s life, I am reminded again of how precious and unpredictable life is, and I feel sad to know that we won’t get any future pictures of him. Just a few months ago, surrounded by loved ones, Jimmy left this earthly existence.

Losing a sibling is heart-wrenching on several levels. Before he passed, my two brothers were probably the only people alive who really knew me well as a child. Knew how we were raised. Knew how we were loved. Knew our family function… and dysfunction.

All his life we saw Jimmy as the omega man - stronger than an ox, brilliant, athletic, fun, tall, dark and handsome. He could do anything he set his mind to. As the middle child, he was the facilitator, the one of us with a heart of gold and the one who would, literally, give you the shirt off his back.

Thanks to our momma, our bond was strong.

Jimmy grew up to be a...

Call me a geek! I’m doing my golden years MY way. Routines have always been important to me. Yes, I’m that person! I appreciate a well-oiled machine!

I know the value of routines and habits in my life, yet still, I struggle to keep them in place. It’s so frustrating because there’s not too many tips anyone can give me. I’m somewhat an expert on the value and implementation of routines as a result of a lifetime of reading and practicing routines and implementing strategies from books, mentors and professional workshops/ conferences. I’m baptized by fire!

I know stuff about this subject, but consistently practicing my chosen routines and habits is one of my biggest challenges…and that’s okay. I’ve adapted to my own quirky and imperfect ways.

Lol, taking myself with a grain of salt when it comes to resolutions and routines, helps me to quickly move on when I don’t perform the first … or even the second time. I still...

Good Day and Welcome to 2023!

Feeling overwhelmed and burnt out from life’s traumas, I stepped back for awhile because life hit me hard in 2022 and taking a mental health break was the ticket to not only surviving but thriving.

Every now and then, we experience a series of unfortunate events, like I did in 2022.  It was one traumatic thing after another for about half a year.  It happens that way occasionally and this time, it was tough, but I was more prepared than ever before.

Starting with the tragic death of a young neighbor boy who helped us with our yard, then the painful loss of one of my dearest friend’s brother who was also a husband and father of two young children, to the stress of selling our home and preparing to move, my partner’s scary spinal surgery (three surgeries in two days) and continuing complicated and painful recovery, then my son’s life-threatening saddle embolism, my partner’s post-surgical blood clots, then...

As the door flung open, her energy filled the room like the Arizona sunshine radiating over the morning horizon. Bright smiling eyes, dark mature skin and her deep, welcoming voice called my anxious friend, Virginia, into the doctor’s office.

Something about her immediately calmed me, and I hoped that my sweet friend felt it too.

The day had been stressful with doctor’s offices, not-so-good news, frustrating obstacles, and fear.

I wanted to wrap my arms around Virginia, hold her close and let our hearts do the talking, but sometimes in these distressed moments, our ability to authentically connect with those we love the most, is blocked on one side or another, or both.

Nurse Robbie showed up for us.

After a while, Virginia returned to the waiting room different than she left - this time with a smile on her face and a little bounce to her step.

We sat in the parked car for at least five full minutes, Virginia enthusiastically recounting the amazing interaction between she...

Imagine us, my partner and I, standing in our large backyard figuring out our plan for the annual summer garden and landscape projects.

We discuss Jaydon, a 14 year old boy who lives in our neighborhood and helped us out previously. We are both impressed with his kindness, respect and work ethic. 

Jaydon and I immediately connected. He sat with me on our patio during breaks, snacking on water and fruit and energy bars, telling me about his family, how he was the oldest and had three younger brothers. His dad is a realtor. His mom - they are close - is a very loving, busy mom and he tries to help her with his young brothers. They are quite involved in their church, and he loves their close-knit cul-de-sac street of families. He enjoys riding his bike and sports.  Jaydon lovingly plays with our dogs, throwing the ball… and responding to their incessant, attention-seeking tactics…which of course, endears them to Jaydon, as well.

Once, his dad...

As a student of life…particularly my life, I’ve been intrigued by people – who they are and why they do the things they do….including me, and why I do what I do…and why I did what I’ve done.

Like most, I’ve had my ups and downs…. my triumphs and traumas…my joy and heartbreak.

It took some time for me to fully understand that GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) was not taking it out on me and to realize that challenges are part of the human condition….it’s not personal.

Reflecting on this new insight, I realized that I had the gift and responsibility of choosing how to perceive the various circumstances I experience.

Understanding that my goal is to live peacefully, intentionally, and joyfully, I concluded that I wish to strive to always think, speak and act from a place of love.

“Love is ALL there is,” is my mantra.

It does not mean that I am not aware that there is darkness in the world…in...

March, 2022 – there’s talk of worldwide war, Ukraine is being invaded by Russia. The Ukraine’s are fleeing their country for their survival, and some are staying to fight bravely their challenging adversary, while the rest of us watch shocked, heartbroken for the victims, and pissed off at a foreign leader who seems to have lost his heart and soul, not to mention, his marbles.

And all the while, there’s some kind of deep “knowing” that we’re not aware of the whole story…and we’re not sure who to trust anymore.

Nevertheless, we do what we can….from afar. Pray. Meditate. For Peaceful vibes. For Wise decisions. For comfort for the victims…and for all of us.

We contribute to organizations that provide support. Help our neighbors and friends….and even strangers we’ve never met.

But still, here, life goes on…

I got a call from my nephew. He and his girlfriend are in...