The Foreword I Didn’t Expect to Write

A Little Envy, a Lot of Growth, and a Pandemic Plot Twist

When Bill and Bobbi asked me to write the Foreword for their book Dandelions, I was perplexed. Not because I didn’t want to. But because I wasn’t sure how many people really wanted to hear the messy truth of what I had lived through to get to that moment, or why Bill and Bobbi would even want to share it.

AND... they didn’t want me to write something polished or distant. They asked me to write what happened…the ugly truth...what I had gone through. And I thought… that’s quite brave. So I said yes.  By the time they invited me to write it, we’d already lived through the hard part. The part where I had just moved away to a new town, a hundred miles away. I didn’t know anyone. The pandemic hit. I felt alone. Truly alone. And trying to find my footing in unfamiliar territory…geographically and emotionally.

Meanwhile, Bill and his witty friend Bobbi, were living blocks apart, forming a sweet little writing club they created together. Laughing together. Processing life together. They had their twice-weekly writing meeting - just the two of them…and even though I was proud of both of them, and loved them deeply, I was not in that bubble. I wasn’t part of it. 

And that stung.

I missed my son, who had for years been a dear friend and writing buddy to me. I missed our strong connection. I missed having a space to create and belong. And I felt it. Not in a dramatic, stomping-my-feet kind of way, but in the quiet, heavy way that creeps in when you realize you feel left out of something meaningful.

What surprised me most was the intensity of my reaction. I’ve spent a lifetime being the strong one. The one who holds space, not takes up too much of it. But the pandemic stripped a lot of that away. I wasn’t busy. I wasn’t distracted. I had time to feel things I had previously tucked away in the corners of my life.

And so the feelings came. Loneliness. Envy. Disorientation. The ache of being “not chosen.” It caught me off guard.

Eventually, I talked to Bill. Then, briefly to Bobbi. I laid it out…gently, honestly, and without expecting them to fix it. I just needed them to know. 

Those conversations weren’t exactly easy. They weren’t wrapped in bows or tied up with hugs and tears and perfect outcomes.

Bill hit me with some hard truths. He held up the mirror, lovingly but directly. About what was his to carry and what wasn’t. 

About how he had to care for himself during the pandemic in ways that didn’t include me. That was hard to hear. But he was right. And I knew it.

Bobbi, in her signature style, mixed kindness with humor. She didn’t run from it. She stayed present. Listened. Responded with grace and a little wit. And in no  time, we all found our way through.

That’s what made it so powerful when they asked me to write the Foreword, not in spite of what had happened between us, but because of it. They wanted that part of the story included. 

That part. 

The hard, human, uncomfortable part. 

The messy middle.  

In her book, Rising Strong, Brene Brown says, “The middle is messy, but it’s also where the magic happens”. 

That meant something to me.

So I wrote it.

I wrote about my envy. About my isolation. About the ache of missing someone you love when it feels like they’ve moved on without you. I wrote about being a little jealous, a little angry, and a little broken-hearted…while also being proud, admiring, and deeply glad they had each other.

It wasn’t clean. It wasn’t tidy. But it was real.

After the Book Came Out

And after the book came out, people loved it.  Bill and Bobbi are great at capturing meaningful moments.  And…some people responded to what I wrote. Quietly. Intimately. Maybe a dozen people reached out to say, “That hit home.” “I’ve felt that too.” “Thank you for putting that into words.” They didn’t comment on the writing style. They commented on the feelings. The honesty.

And that taught me something.

There’s power in saying the thing you’re most ashamed to admit out loud. There’s healing in putting words to emotions that feel tangled and raw. And there’s something deeply comforting in realizing you are not alone in your experience.

What I also realized, looking back, is how much I respect Bill and Bobbi for walking through that discomfort with me. 

Not fixing it. 

Not backing away from it. 

Sitting with it. Sitting with me.

That’s not easy. And I don’t think either of them loved that season…it would have been easier for all of us to gloss over it, say “everything’s fine,” and keep it moving.  I know my son and I understand how hard that had to be for him. I'm sure he would have rather eaten fish and tomatoes or danced on stage, rather than sit with my pain.

But instead, we talked. We stayed in the room. And we came out stronger. That’s what I want people to know. That you can get through hard emotional things with the people you love. 

You can say the hard stuff out loud…without losing the relationship. You can feel jealous, or sad, or resentful…and work your way through it, together, without stuffing it down or pretending it’s not there.

That’s what real, healthy, honest relationships are made of. Not perfection. Not ease. But truth, vulnerability, and respect.

And yes, a little humor helps too.

Writing that Foreword was never about making peace with them…it was about making peace with myself. 

It was about honoring my own experience without diminishing theirs. And somehow, in the process, it helped other people do the same.

So here’s to the messy parts. The human parts. The conversations that don’t go quite right but still move you closer to understanding. The people who stick with you, even when it’s uncomfortable. The truth-tellers. The mirror-holders. The grace-givers.

And here’s to writing your way through all of it.

Diana

In fact, just this weekend, I hosted a preview reading of their newest book coming out August 27, 2025, The Nectar List:  Savoring Life’s Sweetest Moments, at my home for Bill and Bobbi. 

The sweetest friends gathered, we shared food and stories, and I got to witness the beauty of Bill and Bobbi's work…and feel the magic of our shared journey…out loud, in real time. It felt like another layer of healing. A Nectar List Moment I’ll never forget.

If you’re curious to read the book that brought all this to the surface…and of course, the Foreword that started this conversation…it’s called Dandelions: A Pandemic-Era Writing Adventure with Two Unlikely Friends. You can find it right here on Amazon.

It’s real, it’s tender, it’s funny...and, if I may say so...it’s honest in all the best ways.