Turning 60

60 is one of those birthdays you feel coming for a while…it doesn’t sneak up on you …. or I guess it does. I have felt it coming for a year and a half (or a lifetime, whatever is longest) but then, it’s here and I’m like, “Wow, 60, how did that happen!”

When I was very young 60 seemed so old, REALLY OLD, like “it’s time to die, old.”  Then, of course, as I grew closer and closer, 60 became a different kind of milepost.  My perception changed, thanks to lessons learned, sometimes referred to as wisdom and the many women before me who have blazed new trails and helped me to see that aging is a wonderful adventure.

One of the most important changes I’ve made is how I see myself.  As an avid seeker of enlightenment and personal development for most of my adult life, I did not fully begin “loving myself” until a year or so ago.  I still fall into the self judgement trap occasionally.  Most of the time, I honor myself.  giving myself credit for what I’ve learned and who I am.  I finally realize I am worthy of the greatness life offers me and finally, I am accepting it, instead of thinking others are worthier than I.

Although I had a lot of happiness growing up, somewhere in my childhood experiences, I deeply internalized that I was responsible for so much … irresponsible, reprehensible actions by others, sadness and sorrows around me, etc.  Although it was not mine to own, I somehow took on the burden, the pain and the guilt.  It’s taken a lifetime of reflection, courage and healing to finally experience joy.  Now, it’s my responsibility and pleasure to continue this blissful journey, to maintain balance, strength, and a sense of adventure, as I move through pain, loss, success, happiness, fear – life!  Eyes wide open, all senses awake – responding and feeling the uncomfortable motion of transformation, love and joy.  A few weeks ago, we entered the year 2018 and in a few days, I will turn 60.  My intention is to courageously MOVE, to continue forward motion, to relish, wallow and succumb to the joyful escapades of being 60!          - Diana