The Real Reason I Broke Up with Comparison

Years ago, I noticed something that honestly didn't feel great. I saw how we, as women, had been conditioned to be critical of each other. It's almost automatic - we've learned to subtly pick each other apart, to judge rather than celebrate. At first, I mostly noticed this at work. Small comments, eye rolls, casual dismissals - nothing huge, but it was always there.

Then came social media. Oh boy, did that amplify things. I'm not proud to admit it (it actually hurts), but I'd scroll past posts and catch myself thinking, "Who does she think she is?"

Hello?  I knew I didn't want to be that person. Not even a little bit.

I made a conscious decision then, inspired by the awareness that our conditioning doesn't have to define us.

Initially, it felt forced - I had to literally remind myself to click 'like,' write a supportive comment, or genuinely celebrate another woman's win - even if it wasn't something I'd personally choose or buy. But soon enough, it became second nature, and I'm happy to tell you, it has been liberating.

Today, I genuinely find joy in celebrating other women's beauty, youth, accomplishments, and wisdom. And guess what? It hasn't diminished me one bit.

In fact, it has deeply enriched my life, opening doors to friendships and connections with women who also value authenticity, growth, and genuine support.

Don't get me wrong; it hasn't been all sunshine and roses. I realized many friends and family don't support my journey or business ventures, especially on social media. 

At first, that hurt, but self-awareness taught me not to take it personally. Their silence isn't about me...it's about their own lives and inner battles. Those people who make a point of openly supporting me, who cheer me on unconditionally? They're my kindred souls, my kind of people.

Staying grounded in this mostly comparison-free, joyful space takes intention. I immerse myself around like-minded people who understand the value of self-awareness and personal growth. I write to clarify my thoughts, read extensively, use affirmations, and consistently remind myself of my own struggles, cultivating deep empathy.

In her latest book, "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" Dr. Julie Smith reminds us that comparison is a thief of joy and connection. Her wisdom reinforced what I'd already felt intuitively: changing our mindset around comparison is powerful—and completely possible.

If you catch yourself slipping into comparison mode, here's your quick action plan:

1. Pause and Notice: Recognize the feeling. Awareness is your superpower.

2. Reflect with Empathy: Ask yourself, what's this comparison telling me about my own desires or insecurities?

3. Choose Celebration: Actively celebrate the woman you're tempted to compare yourself to—compliment, uplift, and encourage her, even if her path, choices, or products aren't ones you'd personally embrace. Supporting her passion doesn't diminish your own.

4. Reconnect to Yourself: Affirm your worth, your journey, your beauty, your wisdom—exactly as you are.

Breaking up with comparison isn't just about feeling better—it's about living better, connecting deeper, and creating real joy. Trust me, it's worth it.

Diana