I Was Dead Wrong (and That’s When I Started Growing Again)

A while back, I realized I’d been carrying around this subtle, subconscious belief that death was something we should fear. That we should brace ourselves for it. That it’s dark, tragic, or somehow a failure of life.

I wouldn’t have said it that bluntly…but deep down, I felt it. I remember always thinking, “I’m not afraid of dying, but I sure as hell don’t want to think about it too much.” I tiptoed around it. Avoided it unless I had to. Believed that talking about it meant inviting it closer.

I was wrong. Dead wrong (LOL!)

Over the last few years, I started exploring death in a new way...not with doom or dread, but with wonder, honesty, even curiosity. I’ve been reading, journaling, talking with friends who’ve lost people, and reflecting on my own experiences and what it means to be fully alive while knowing it will all end someday.

And that shift has changed everything.

It’s made life richer. More urgent, but in a good way. I don’t want to rush past the people I love. I want to savor more. Say the thing. Laugh more loudly. Forgive faster. And not just because I might die someday...but because I’m living now.

Sometimes we have to be wrong about something to grow beyond it.

So, What Is a Growth Mindset?

Psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the idea of a growth mindset...the belief that our skills, abilities, and understanding can develop with effort, curiosity, and time. The opposite is a fixed mindset...where we believe we are who we are, and that’s that.

Growth mindset says:

• “I don’t know everything, but I can learn.”

• “Being uncomfortable doesn’t mean I’m failing.”

• “Change is part of the deal.”

This isn’t toxic positivity. It’s not about pretending everything’s fine when it isn’t. It’s about knowing that even here, especially here, we can grow.

Regular People, Real Growth

Let me tell you about Gene. He’s 52, works maintenance at a hospital, and has worn the same type of steel-toed boots for 30 years. Nothing flashy. Doesn’t love change - actually strongly dislikes it. But a year ago, his daughter convinced him to join her on a hiking trip in the Southwest.

He said no three times before he finally caved.

Joel didn’t consider himself an “outdoorsy guy.” He was sure he’d hate it. But something happened out there...something in the stillness, the effort, the stars. He came home and started walking trails behind his apartment after work. He bought his first pair of trekking poles. He even signed up for a first-aid wilderness class.

He told me, “I thought I was too old to start anything new. Turns out, I was just bored.”

Then there’s Carrie, 61, who spent most of her adult life working in a bank, following the rules, raising kids, playing it safe...like so many of us.. When her youngest moved out, she was sure her “active years” were winding down. That it was time to slow down, maybe volunteer, maybe bake muffins.

That was until she stumbled into a memoir-writing class at the local library. Now she writes two hours a day and just submitted her first piece to a literary journal. “I thought I had nothing interesting to say,” she said. “I was wrong.”  She has inspired me.

How to Tell if You're Stuck in a Fixed Mindset

Growth sneaks up on you when you start paying attention. Here are a few signs you might be stuck in a fixed mindset without realizing it:

• You catch yourself saying, “I’m just not good at that.”

• You feel too old or too tired to try something new.

• You assume other people are just “naturals” and you’re not.

• You secretly believe it’s too late.

Those are stories. And like all stories, they can be edited...by you.

How to Gently Shift into Growth

You don’t need to blow up your life or move to the mountains. You just need to start paying attention to the voice in your head...and offering it a better script.

Here’s how:

1. Start with curiosity.
   What if I’m wrong about this?” is a powerful place to begin.

2. Try one new thing.
   A small class. A conversation. A different route home. A book that challenges your thinking. Tiny steps count.

3. Ask better questions.
   Instead of “Why bother?” try “What might happen if I did?”

4. Celebrate the discomfort.
   If you feel awkward or unsure, congratulations...you’re in the zone where growth happens.

I don’t know what you’ve been wrong about. But I know this:

Being wrong is not the end of the world. It might be the start of a whole new one.

For me, that shift in how I see death cracked something open. I don’t avoid the topic anymore...I make space for it. I talk about it. I imagine what it would look like to leave this earth having really lived. I’ve even started planning how I want my last years to feel. (And no, they don’t involve the couch and TV.)

Turns out, death isn’t the thing to fear. Living on autopilot might be.

So this blog is dedicated to being wrong...and letting it grow us into something wiser, braver, and more alive than we thought possible.

With love and new eyes,

Diana
Love is ALL there is

(PS: this blog was created by a human being -me)