How to Care without Carrying the Weight of the World

balance empathy responsibility Feb 25, 2025

Some mornings, I wake up and before my feet even hit the floor, I already feel heavy. Not because anything in my own life is falling apart, but because the world is just... a lot. The news, the endless opinions, the suffering, the outrage. It’s enough to make a person want to crawl back under the covers.

And yet, I care. I care deeply. Maybe too deeply sometimes.

I’ve always felt this quiet responsibility to understand, to empathize, to do something. But at some point, I had to ask myself: Am I actually helping? Or am I just carrying burdens that aren’t mine to hold?

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this.

Some people carry it all like an obligation. Others shut down and pretend none of it exists. And some, like me, teeter between the two—overwhelmed by the weight but unwilling to turn away.

So how do we care without collapsing under the weight of it all?

Personal Responsibility vs. Taking on Everything

This is where things get real.

Caring about the world is not the same as being responsible for fixing all of it. Somewhere along the way, we’ve blurred that line. People feel like they have to respond to every crisis, absorb every struggle, and carry every emotional burden—even ones that aren’t theirs.

But here’s a hard truth: Taking responsibility for your own life is challenging enough. Taking responsibility for everyone else’s? Impossible.

This doesn’t mean ignoring what’s happening. It means deciding what’s actually yours to hold and what isn’t. Because when we take on everything, we don’t become better helpers—we just become exhausted, bitter, and ineffective.

And if we’re honest, some people would rather blame the world than take responsibility for themselves.

There’s a difference between caring about a problem and making it someone else’s job to fix it.

At some point, we have to ask: Am I doing my part? Or am I expecting others to carry what I won’t?

This is where the Enneagram might help.

How Different Enneagram Types Carry (or Avoid) Responsibility

Not everyone handles the weight of the world the same way. In fact, our Enneagram type plays a big role in how we react:

Type 1 (The Reformer): Feels personally responsible for fixing everything and gets frustrated when others don’t do their part. Struggles to let things go because someone has to do it right.
Type 2 (The Helper): Absorbs everyone's problems and can’t rest unless they’re needed. Feels guilty if they’re not actively helping.
Type 3 (The Achiever): Wants to prove they can make an impact, sometimes burning out in the process.
Type 4 (The Individualist): Absorbs all the feelings and can drown in them. Struggles to separate personal pain from global pain.
Type 5 (The Investigator): Consumes information about the world’s problems but keeps an emotional distance. Can feel powerless to act.
Type 6 (The Loyalist): Worries about all the possible dangers and worst-case scenarios. Feels like they must stay vigilant.
Type 7 (The Enthusiast): Distracts themselves from heaviness, trying to stay light. Avoids feeling too much at once.
Type 8 (The Challenger): Wants to fight for justice but struggles with anger when change doesn’t happen fast enough.
Type 9 (The Peacemaker): Feels responsible for keeping the _peace_—even if it means carrying tension for others.

For me, as a self-preservation Type 4, I feel the weight of the world intensely. I take in too much, over-identify with suffering, and sometimes let my emotions paralyze me instead of leading to action.

But here’s the thing - I’m not built to carry it all. And neither are you.

Which is where the Let Them / Let Me mindset comes in.

Let Them / Let Me: Knowing What’s Yours to Hold

I first heard about The Let Them Theory from Mel Robbins, and it hit hard. The idea is simple:

✔ Let them be who they are, believe what they believe, and live as they choose.
✔ Let me focus on my own energy, choices, and what I actually have control over.

This applies perfectly to the weight of the world.

Let them argue endlessly online. I don’t have to join the fight.
Let them believe what they believe. I don’t have to convince them otherwise.
Let them be outraged, passive, over-involved, or checked out. I get to choose my level of engagement.

And when I shift my focus to Let Me, things get a whole lot lighter.

✔ Let me show up in ways that align with my values, not guilt.
✔ Let me set limits on how much bad news I consume.
✔ Let me make small, meaningful changes instead of drowning in helplessness.

Letting go of what isn’t mine doesn’t mean I don’t care. It means I care wisely.

Small Actions, Big Impact: How to Care Without Collapsing

Instead of trying to hold everything, I’ve started asking myself: What’s my one thing today?

Maybe it’s reaching out to a friend who’s struggling.
Maybe it’s donating to a cause that aligns with my values.
Maybe it’s simply taking care of my own emotional health so I can show up for the people around me.
Maybe it's volunteering for an organization that supports my beliefs/values.

The world doesn’t need more burned-out, exhausted, overwhelmed people.

It needs people who are clear-headed, compassionate, and steady.

So if you’re feeling the weight of the world today, take a breath. It’s not all yours to carry.

Let them. Let me. Let go.

What About You?

Do you tend to carry too much? Or do you avoid it altogether?

Either way, the answer isn’t to care less. It’s to care smarter.

Because when we stop carrying what isn’t ours, we can finally show up for what truly is.